Last minute admonishments and exhortations – looking for that perfect taper


So here we are again, at the pointy end of the year and destiny* beckons. As you tuck into the Xmas pudding and nurse your NYE head, your thoughts will naturally be drawn to the XmasEpic.
“Have I put enough k’s into the legs this year?” Well, only you know the answer to that one. However, rest assured that there will still some residual Jens Factor from last year’s epic and so let’s just concentrate on the perfect taper…

But first the big picture. All of last year’s riders have fronted up again, plus a couple of newcomers. We have national representation from NSW(1), ACT(1), VIC(1), WA(1) and QLD (3). From next year we will start accepting international riders and register the future XmasEpic2011 as a Pro Continental team as the first step in the drawn out process for UCI accreditation for Australia’s first ProTeam license.

While the epic virgins will no doubt be quivering with anticipation, the old hands will guide them in cafe etiquette and overall überness.

Some reminders and tips for this year:

  • Directeur Sportif: Again Wendy will be fulfilling this role. Do not rely on sticky bidons from the team car to get you over the hills.
  • Embrocation, unguent, emollient, chamois crème, chrism† and demulcent: The differences can be crucial. If you’re not sure, see “Leg Care Secrets” here. We will have a Latvian Soigneur to aid in the application of these preparations.
  • Team kit: XmasEpic merchandising almost, but not quite, happened this year. Pre-orders for next year are now being accepted.
  • Cuisine: I can confirm that there will be a jaffle iron available for use on this year’s tour.
  • Kilometerage: Although the distances are modest (~55 km/day) compared to last year, don’t be fooled. The hills will make it harder. I therefore implore/exhort you all to use the time available to increase your bike fitness prior to seeking the elusive taper.
  • Food: We spend the first 3 nights in isolated places. We will pass though Boonah on the first day and will stop at the shopping centre to buy massive amounts of carbohydrates.
  • Facilities at Le Grand Départ: Foot pump, chain lubrication, tools, nearby LBS, sunscreen, Sherpa blood.
  • Mt Barney: For those contemplating this walk, boots are advisable. Other suggested items to bring are collated here.
  • This Blog: The Brisbane participants are now off to Africa in a quest for the perfect Tapir. The web site will be left in the capable hands of James. Expect deus ex machina fixie reviews.
  • See you all in Brisbane on 10/1/11!

    * At least the “Destiny Boonah” donkey farm. As Scott pointed out to me, “Crikey, it will be a race to the finish, you don’t want to end up with an ugly one”.
    † Exodus 30:22-25

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    This entry was posted in doping for amateurs, epicness, itinerary, jens voigt, on the juice, provocative, sherpa blood. Bookmark the permalink.

    One Response to Last minute admonishments and exhortations – looking for that perfect taper

    1. Pingback: The Taper | Xmas Epic 2011

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