TdF stage 1

KittelWhew what a start. Marcel (that famous (German) French mime) Kittel takes out stage 1. This is one of his signature moves: “driving the bus”.

It all started out with high hopes for Orica-Green Edge with Hunters & Collectors inspiration:
… so shed your skin,
and let’s get started..
.” – H&C

And shed their skin they did.

Tony Martin (suspected broken collarbone)

Hoogerland- found an advertising banner to break the fall this time.

Contador: “my injuries are superficial
ContadorHe states that his form is now at 89.999999999999 %. (Since he got pinged for 50 picograms of clenbuterol in the 2010 TdF, he quantifies everything to 12 decimal places.)

Hesjedal: “tired of getting crashed“. Sagan “down but not out“.

Meanwhile the Corsicans are nonplussed at this level of carnage and local farmers quickly organise to have a tractor reverse the Orica Green Edge bus from the finish line towards the 60+ k/h peloton a few minutes away.

Frantically changing the finishing line, then back again, with only some riders aware of the changes allowed opportunity for further crashes (Goss down).

Orica-Green Edge: Bus problem “unfortunate“.

But its all good, after 213 km of racing. everyone has finished in exactly the same time!

A real professional sees this as motivation and Cadel uses it to dial up the Cranky level.
Could that face really be responsible for such a searing tweet:

And what about this from a few days ago?

Could I just float the idea that Cadel may actually be the Dalai Lama?

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