2013 Epic Financial Statement

I have lately had cause to peruse the Xmas Epic account and am pleased to announce that after 4 years, our profits have reached double figures and currently stand at: $0.10
Cyclists wearing Santa Claus costumes begin their cycling tour in Sintra village

This is due to i) the beauty of compound interest, ii) the competitive rates (0.01%) of our Epic financial institution, and iii) mostly to those that have forgotten that they are owed monies. (I did send out the Epic Bill earlier this year with a request for account numbers for monetary transfers.)

Current Xmas Epic Account:
Keith: +$100.00
James: +$85.88
Natalie: +$56.88
The Syndicate: $0.10
Balance: $242.86

Sadly, we cannot distribute interest or dividends to the people investing, the $0.10 profits remain with the syndicate (and everyone has a share). Nor at this stage can the monies of these three be redeemed for anything other than an Epic participation; ie they can defray the obligatory $100.00 deposit on this, or any future, Epic.

Merchandising:
Last year I realised too late that I had made a tactical mistake in putting the name of our patron drug cheat (Djamolidine Abdoujaparov) on the T-shirts. Too many bloody small fiddly letters and my eyes will never be the same again.

This year I plan a manageable: Tomorrow we ride… on the back.

Then I realised that I could actually save a letter using the original French title of Jean Bobet’s book: Demain on roule… Any objections?

Alternatively there is:
Albanian: nesër do të ngasin…
Russian: Завтра мы едем…
Welsh: yfory rydym yn beicio…
Irish: amárach táimid ag marcaíocht …
,,, but the letter count is blowing out again.

This collector’s t-shirt is free with your $100 deposit. (I think I’ll give the espresso cups a miss this year.)

Please send your $100.00 deposit to
BSB: 064141 Acc No.: 1005 3429

I also considered the gem below. A bit ambitious letter-wise, but maybe I’ll get Annaliese to cut the stencil next year:
Mranda

Every year I also toy with the idea of an Epic cycling jersey that will capture the spirit of the endeavor:
devo_hotdog
But you really have to be careful, it is too easy to look silly (and imagine it multiplied by the peloton effect):
CavDoesEddie

Seriously Mr Cavendish?? Stick to what you do best, here’s a basic lesson in style
domesticMerckx

And another thing. Perusing such sites as “Chicks with Hot Eyebrows” (as I do) I became aware of the cycling possibilities posed by Frida:
Frida

You know camelbacks? Well she invented something similar that will also keep the hematocrit levels up.
frida_kahlo_le_due_frida
Time to start getting ready.

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3 Responses to 2013 Epic Financial Statement

  1. Anonymous says:

    I love it! and the cups as well so cool… you certianly do your research:)

  2. Anonymous says:

    Surely ‘Tomorrow [comma] we ride’? Any chance we can have the picture, too?

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