Sadly, life is now more complicated. For my birthday I received a book of The Rules.
There are 93 of them (here). Sock height is critical, Eddy is the prophet, etc.
“...For thine is the big ring,
and the power, and the glory,
for Eddy and ever.
Actually the Mankinis are great. Promoting high visibility in the “Have a Good Look” campaign inspired by the Amy Gillett Foundation (here).
The added bonus is that you get instant sharp tan lines (rule #7).
Not everyone has the time to cultivate these:
Which brings us to the male equivalent of VPL. Yes: MCT (male camel-toe). Look, no-one wants to talk about these sorts of things so I’ll just alert you to the fact that the problem has been solved by Assos after many years of research.
The breakthrough involved an advanced chamois innovation called (in Assoslish) a “Kuku penthouse”.
With a special pouch. Innovation doesn’t come cheap and when released it will be the world’s most expensive bib-shorts, at US$519. Review here.
Thankfully, it will be available in stores by December, just in time for this year’s Epic. I did look at the female offerings, but it seems the VPL problem can be solved at a much lower price:
But you gotta admit, Assos really nails the names (remember the 13 levels of manga.Yio?): you are looking at a TB.LaalalLai FI.Lady S5 bib short. By the way, surely they’re more of a skinsuit? Like this:
Mein Gott, diese Beine!
OK, lets summarize. Least you think cycling is just about putting your life in danger, blindly adhering to tribal rules, solving expensive non-existent problems and physical deformity. Well, you’d be right, but to this we must also add attitude and beauty.
Norway – No cars and all that North Sea oil money to build roads (here).